and what is this life that I've made for myself?
and who is this person I've created?
Is it me?
Am I really as powerful and beautiful and smart as I seem?
Am I really worthy of all of this love?
Sometimes this emptiness creeps in from the dark recesses of my mind
or my heart
and I step outside of myself and look
and listen
and wonder
Who am I?
Who am I to have so much good in my life when others suffer?
Who am I who has the privilege of experiencing joy?
Does the emptiness seek to humble me or ruin me?
Or perhaps bring me to newer heights, to greater things.
I have always listened to the emptiness
and sought to satiate the hunger
and it has brought me through much hardship and turmoil
but eventually, through perseverance, back again to joy.
So again I step outside myself
and I revel in the beauty that is my life
and say
"It may just get even better than this"
and I reach out to myself
and grab my hand and pull.
I will invariably stumble and fall and scrape my knee
but I have my power and my beauty and my wits
and I will stand up again to fight and find
an even greater joy.
